Attachment-Focused EMDR Therapy.

When trauma is also about relationship

Sometimes a difficult experience has a clear beginning and end. Sometimes it is woven into early relationships, repeated losses, neglect, conflict, or moments when the people who were meant to offer care also felt unavailable, frightening, or hard to reach. These experiences can leave a person feeling watchful, ashamed, distant, overly responsible for others, or unsure what to expect from closeness.

You may understand parts of your history and still find yourself caught in the same reactions. A partner’s silence may feel unbearable. Asking for help may bring up guilt. An ordinary disagreement may leave you shut down, angry, or convinced that you have done something wrong. These responses are not signs of weakness. They can be ways of managing feelings and relationships that once felt difficult to bear.

As an Attachment-Focused EMDR therapist, I work with adults who want to understand these patterns in the fuller context of their lives. EMDR may help us approach a particular experience, while long-term psychotherapy gives us room to notice how the past continues to enter the present.

What attachment-focused means in this work

Attachment is a way of describing how early relationships can shape expectations of safety, care, dependence, and separation. It is not a label that captures a whole person. It is one useful perspective for considering why certain moments of closeness, conflict, distance, or need can carry so much emotional weight.

An attachment-focused approach does not treat a distressing memory as separate from the relationships and meanings around it. We consider what you learned about being seen, needing others, protecting yourself, expressing anger, or taking up space. We also pay attention to what happens in therapy itself, including concerns about trust, disappointment, or feeling misunderstood.

This can be especially relevant when you have lived through childhood trauma, relational trauma, sexual trauma, or repeated experiences of being dismissed or left alone with intense feelings. You do not need to decide whether your story fits a particular category before reaching out. We can begin with the concerns that feel most alive now.

EMDR within a depth-oriented psychotherapy

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR, is a trauma-focused method that can use bilateral stimulation, such as alternating attention or tapping, while you stay connected to an experience, feeling, body sensation, or belief that has been difficult to carry. It is not a process of forcing yourself through a memory or recounting every detail.

In my practice, EMDR is one part of a broader psychoanalytic approach. We make room for reflection before, during, and after processing. We consider how current symptoms may relate to your relationships, inner conflicts, and history, rather than assuming that every difficulty has a single cause or one correct treatment path.

For some people, a specific event becomes an important focus. For others, the work may center on an enduring feeling of not being good enough, a pattern of disconnection, fear around intimacy, or a body response that arrives before words do. We decide together whether EMDR is useful, when it may be useful, and what needs attention alongside it.

Preparation is part of the therapy

Before trauma processing, I want to understand what helps you feel grounded and what tends to intensify distress. We talk about your current life, available support, the ways you respond when overwhelmed, and how you recover after a difficult session. This preparation is not a hurdle to get through. It helps us work in a way that is responsive to you.

1. Beginning with your present concerns

   Early sessions focus on what has brought you in, including relationship patterns, anxiety, numbness, grief, self-criticism, or a memory that feels unfinished. We consider your history without rushing to a conclusion about it.

2. Developing ways to stay connected

   We identify resources that may help when feelings become intense. These can include orienting to the room, body awareness, imagery, movement, or ways of naming what is happening between us. The aim is not to eliminate feeling, but to have more ways of meeting it.

3. Considering EMDR carefully

   When it feels appropriate, EMDR can help us approach material that has been difficult to process alone. You remain involved in decisions about pace. We can slow down, pause, or return to reflection when that is what the work requires.

4. Making room to reflect afterward

   My first trauma-processing session is 90 minutes long, with time to settle before it ends. Follow-up sessions let us talk about what came up and what needs care next, rather than treating processing as a one-time event.

Virtual sessions throughout California

I work virtually with adults throughout California. Online therapy can make regular treatment more workable when distance, work, caregiving, health needs, or the demands of travel make in-person appointments harder to sustain. It also gives us the opportunity to meet from a private place you choose.

We discuss the practical setting before beginning trauma processing. A private room, a reliable connection, and some time to transition after a session can be helpful. You do not need to solve every detail before contacting me. These are practical parts of creating a setting that can support the work.

If you are specifically looking for an EMDR therapist in California, you can read more about virtual EMDR sessions and how consultation may begin. You can also explore my broader approach to trauma therapy, including the ways trauma can affect everyday life and relationships.

Questions that can be useful to bring

You may be wondering whether your reactions are connected to trauma, whether EMDR can fit alongside the therapy you have already done, or whether a relationship pattern can change when it has felt familiar for a long time. You may also be unsure what to say in a first session. Those questions are welcome. The consultation is not an assessment that asks you to prove your experience or commit to treatment.

It can help to notice what feels most difficult lately: a situation that leaves you tense for days, a recurring conflict, a feeling that appears when you are alone, or a way you become distant from people you care about. We can start there. Over time, therapy may offer a place to connect present difficulties with their emotional and relational context, while staying attentive to what feels manageable.

Beginning with a consultation

A free 15-minute consultation is a chance to share a little about what you are looking for, ask questions about Attachment-Focused EMDR, and consider whether my approach feels relevant to your needs. You do not need a diagnosis, a polished account of your history, or certainty that EMDR is the answer.

There is no fixed number of sessions that applies to everyone. The pace and direction of therapy depend on your history, current circumstances, and what becomes important as the work unfolds. If we decide to work together, we continue to assess what feels useful rather than making promises about a predetermined outcome.

Schedule a free consultation